Here is an interesting post from a blog called Motherlode: Adventures in Parenting. This is an example of how different families are from one another. They each have to take their situation and decide for themselves what will be best for their family.
I lean towards the sequential deployment for the sake of the children. At the same time, I understand their rationale. Nurturing the couple relationship will help them to be better parents. Being apart could have hindered that relationship, the marriage, and the parenting.
What do you think?
What thoughts do you have about the military family policies mentioned in this article?
ReplyDeleteI found it interesting how they were stationed within a 50 mile radius for a year and also that they could request simultaneous deployments. I think this would be a very hard choice to make and I think Amber, the wife in the article said it well, that 'neither choice was a perfect one'.
ReplyDeleteI think at first glance that I agree with Zuri on the sequential deployment. As my interest is in child development, I would greatly support having a parent at home with the children rather than leaving them with a grandparent. I also know that children are resilient. As long as they are in a loving and caring environment, with their needs being met, I don't think they would have too difficult a time having both parents gone and then having to transition to both being back. I wonder if having that type of transition (only one type) would benefit the children more than having the parents changing with each deployment. I don't think either situation is optimal. I can see the couple's viewpoint in that being deployed together would help support their marriage. And a happy couple make better parents.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad that the military gives the parents a choice. They know best what would work for their family. It's a decision I hope never to have to make.
I like your last comment Shawnee. The fact that the policies, at this time, allow the family to choose whether they will be deployed together at the same time or separate at different times. Choice is a key word. It allows the parents who know themselves and their children best, to decide.
ReplyDeleteI don't think the military should deploy parents together. Writing letters, and phone calls does not seem like parenting to me. Married couples cannot choose whether or not to be deployed, only whether or not it is together. This also creates a stress on the caregivers at home. The grandparents have to care for young children, all the while also worrying about having a child in combat.
ReplyDeleteSo having both parents in the military is stressful any way you look at it then. Just another reason to admire those who go through it. Their mission is two-fold, support a family and defend a nation. I am sure grateful for our troops!!
ReplyDeleteIt's a tough situation. I wouldn't like to be the one having to make the decision. It makes me wonder what the child outcomes will be. It reminds me of what I was reading last summer about jobs for mariners. I seems that the long periods of separation from their families are similar between the two. There is a high turn-over rate in careers in merchant sailing because of this, the overwhelming majority of sailors stating their reason for changing careers is to stay with their families. Some freighters now allow sailors and their families to sail with them to prevent this. I wonder what the effects of all these different family situations are on the couple relationship and the parent-child relationship. I also wonder if there is a better way for the military to approach these unions.
ReplyDeleteI think that overall, children are very resilient. I'm sure that in case of the family in the article, the children were just fine. I'm sure they missed their parents very much. At the same time, the parents were in contact often, every week or more, I believe. They were cared for by loving grandparents, basic needs met, loved, played with, etc., I'm sure. Now, had one or both parents died while on duty, that would certainly have an affect on the children. Whether it ruined them or not, would depend on the children individually and the way the grandparents handled the situation. I think that the military is doing good in letting the parents choose between two options (being deployed together or at different times). The parents know their children and family situation best. They know what their children, and they themselves, can and cannot handle.
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